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Caramel Latte Baby

by Sarah Lacey Ann

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1.
cold night, midnight take me to bed don’t worry about killing me i’ve already been dead saturday night sunday morning warm touching skin it’s all still sinking in lilac legs, babydoll lover dappled light, liquid lather black lace, shaking languor loose lips, raspberry liquor i walk the apple green hill with an afterglow, almost as sunny as your sunny side eggs and golden buttery toast
2.
you glow like a city takeout sign in the middle of the night i still love you even though i don’t miss you even though you’re new you go like a busy bus route in peak hour traffic i’d still catch you even though i don’t need to you left a residue that love is two months lost i froze like the first winter frost i know you were dreaming of something more sorry to be a bore i won’t come around anymore you glow like a city takeout sign in the middle of the night
3.
Star Storm 02:40
i’m a star trapped in the sky turn me to dust i’ll watch and i’ll cry don’t want to let people walk over me but you told me you love me and you think i’m really pretty explosions in my brain you said you would make it rain i said i don’t care i’ll live in the water until everything is fine and he’ll take you home again nothing’s wrong, nothing’s right, again you loved me now, you loved me then i hope i can play along i’m in a star storm you light me up even then you glow, i know, take me again you kissed me like an angel, oh, and then i hope i can play along i’m in a star storm i’m a star trapped in your eye lost my mind can’t feel anything and it terrifies me don’t want to let people touch me but you told me you love me and you think i’m really pretty
4.
i remember the fire even now when there’s only ash on the ground just needed one more night of heat high and low, leaving me bittersweet my whole body burned when the leaves turned auburn pain can be a bad desire but at least i felt the fire if you had stayed i would have died nothing quite like a fire girls pride
5.
i said i’m not scared of anything you could leave, or you could squeeze all the blood out of my veins and my god i swear i wouldn’t die all the beatings and bruises don’t keep love from my opaque heart although hazy space leads to madness its a madness that is creatively precious when this body is grossly at its grave light binds to my carbon cells and time keeps moving around an annual carnal carousel i should have died one hundred times x4 i should have died but i am always alive
6.
Have Fun 02:28
i’m not that girl you fell for last freezing cold mid winter got more meat on my bones and got a lot to show for it you know, i’m gone don’t write, have fun loving the wrong one don’t fight, just run i know she haunts you (and you let her) you will never hear from me again it’s safer that way but know i loved you even when you pushed me away the red lights, our midnight fights told me more than you ever did one night, my drunk delight i wear a mark forever in my skin you know, i’m gone i’m not that girl you fell for last freezing cold mid winter got more meat on my bones and got a lot to show for it you know, i’m gone
7.
eternally cold i’m scared i’ll take you with me when i freeze and sleep my arctic wind will cool and crystallise your hands and bones i know it will i need you to stay warm for me don’t let my cold and purple skin spread through your sunny, rosy heart it’ll destroy it don’t let it stay warm and happy i always fall for the sunshine girls and i turn them to ice
8.
baby pink and ruby red blood and guts inside me, yet i am pure, and real and true the devil keeps bringing me back to you the sun did rise and i did cry salty tears, and used meat in my eye lick caramel ice cream be sweet inside you’re everywhere and i can’t hide i needed to love you you couldn’t decide but when you did my blood and guts fried a predator going in for the chase your fingers inside me, poison embrace came to my senses, we can’t live like this i was so overjoyed, that god damn preacher’s kiss you needed to fuck me you said you missed the fire between us and i just couldn’t resist of course it turned out bad you can’t fuck a girl and then get mad that i fell for you, you knew that i would i hate that i wouldn’t take it back if i could
9.
i live each day waiting for the sun to set my cracking bones are filled with regret if i could share the load i would, you know i’d shine your shoes and show you the road i’d get you there before nightfall where i’d have to leave you like we’d never loved at all true love tends to make me sick true love has made me sick but it’s all on me ‘cause i know i’m lucky
10.
threw out my ghost in the city just wanted to feel pretty we were the hottest girls at the party kissing in the smoke, wandering hands we were both there, living out our badlands we didn’t care, we didn’t care something in the way you grab my waist something in the way you taste something, something, something and when you traced my thighs, and looked in my eyes i felt, this is about to take over the sky and i didn’t care, i didn’t care lights were off, we were bad the best kiss i ever had tongue licked away the sad and i’m not sure anymore why there were locks at the door and no shells on the shore before now i can see she’s mine, she’s beauty the best ones come free it’s the power of three what i had last winter wasn’t love, it was an anchor i guess i can thank her for showing me love isn’t anger she took me home, gave me a pill and gave me a glass of milk laid my head down, felt like silk and i fell asleep to some piano music downstairs she was right there all night after our drunken affair and i didn’t care, i didn’t care it was the best night i swear - for billie
11.
i’m becoming ok with love that only lasts a short while i’m ok because it was there and i was happy and i smiled i’ve come to realise there’s always gonna be someone for me if i’m 33 and still stuck on a moment or if i’ve just turned 20 ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh i’ll cherish the spring days i’ll cherish your hair when it falls in your face and when i brush it away ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh all the people i’ve loved i still do they gave me sweet seconds to remember and when they went away i found you i’m becoming ok with scenes that would have kept me up i’m ok and can forgive myself because that’s a part of growing up i’ve come to realise some things fade and everything changes it can be beautiful and fresh and clean like the glow on the street, or two strangers
12.

credits

released March 1, 2016

album art by Khali May

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Sarah Lacey Ann Hobart, Australia

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